Before receiving Esoteric Breast Massages (EBMs) I did not know the true meaning of delicateness, nurturing, self care. I lived the daughter, the mother, the friend but did I know what it was to be a woman? No I did not, there had not been any true role models in my life so far. Since I had my first EBM about 6 or 7 years ago a lot has changed, or should I say my whole life turned around.
Working with the EBM practitioners is always a huge present to myself. It is not only the EBM itself but it is from making the appointment to entering the clinic and or treatment room that I can sense that nurturing energy we as women know but I never applied it to myself and did not have a clue what it truly meant. I had learned through life to be nice, but at the same time I was hard and judgemental and was blaming the world for how my life was and how I felt my body in being tired, migraines and a feeling of giving up, I was getting through just as I see a lot of women do and in us all is always the emphasis on doing.
I saw nothing of this in the women who practice the EBM. The practitioners work on embodying how to self-nurture, they are dedicated to live and work in and with this quality. They are very well trained, it shows in their ongoing commitment and dedication to developing a true relationship with themselves and how they reflect the nurturing, the delicateness, the stillness to every woman they encounter. I feel respected, honoured and never judged and I see this in other women who are choosing EBMs too. We are discovering that the hardness, the always being busy with doing is not who we are but something we have taken on, a role and the EBMs supports us to face what this has caused in our bodies and to feel it is about our quality always. When a practitioner touches this very sensitive and extremely tender, precious part of my body I know they are aware that every touch every move they make is energy and this is felt in my body.
I don’t take my breasts for granted anymore, I don’t take for granted I am a woman anymore, I listen to my body and this is a process of being more and more honest to myself. My breasts are now a part of my body, not only for breastfeeding or sexual pleasure but to connect to my tenderness, to self nurture, to feel my delicateness and I feel the responsibility I have to live every day in such way I can reflect this to other women whether it be with family, friends or in my work as a nurse not in perfection but to the best I can.
I’ve been reflecting on my nursing job. I started when I was seventeen, then by the age of twenty four I was exhausted, burnt out and after a recovery period of one year I worked another two years and by then I had enough and said to myself I would never go back again to working in healthcare.
About 4 years ago at the age of 51, I decided to go back and I started my job as a community nurse and with what I now know about taking care for myself first and nurturing myself, my role as a nurse has completely transformed. In the first period I was not taking care of myself and my body and did not know what nurturing myself meant. I had the feeling that what I did was never enough, so I always took on more, this became a burden and the pressure I put on myself was massive. Looking back what I did was seek recognition and appreciation from others in what I was doing, rather than loving myself, to make myself the first to take care of.
Now I know this is a prerequisite for being a nurse. With the support of having regular EBMs I bring how I care for myself to the patients I work with, they get to feel equal to me by the way I treat them, they get to feel my gentle and loving touch and my precision in how I care and nurture. Now my nursing is all about connection and the quality in what I do instead of making it about what I do and what I get from being recognised or applauded for what I do. The EBMs have showed me how I can bring this innate quality of nurturing into my everyday life including my nursing.
Everyday in my job as a community nurse I observe women, generally between the ages of 50 till 90 years old and sometimes even older. What all these women have in common is the lack or absence of loving themselves, in no way caring for themselves. They are so used to caring for their husband or children, family, friends, neighbours and this came and comes always first. They have forgotten how to treat themselves with care and love. As a result there is so much hardness in their bodies and most of the time they are completely disconnected from their bodies in such a way they do not even feel when they are cold or are in pain. Their bodies are worn out because of all the hard work they have done and in some cases still try to do. Most of the women I care for have osteoarthritis, heart problems, diabetes and or cancer. And they blame their bodies for letting them down and even feel guilty they cannot do that much anymore. Their lives are full of resentment and anger towards their bodies and life and it is very hard to see their value.
A treatment like the Esoteric Breast Massage is so needed to change the tide for women, to let women feel their true nature so we can live in appreciation of ourselves.