In some regard it is easy to identify the fact that as men, we are brought up to sexualise breasts. The harder question to explore is why. Why is it that it is okay for boys to be encouraged to sneak a peek, grab a feel and to look at breasts as if they are somehow disconnected from the person, the soul that they are connected to? Why is that that it is okay for men to ogle at magazines that show buxom women, dress in a way that make their breast the sole focus with little regard for the person inside? Why is that you see men, sneaking a peak either subtly while a women is not looking or overtly unable to make eye contact with them as they speak?
As a man that has grown up with these conditions, I am keen to explore why I might have been so willing to play that game, and why I have stopped.
The starting point is the reality that, I am not sure I would have stopped had I not seen that there was a difference between women who claim their power by being as tough as men and women who show a level of power that was equal measure strength, fragility and a beauty that radiates from within.
Traditionally the former ‘woman with balls’ is considered formidable and required to succeed but it was when I meet women that carried this radiance and power from within that my world began to crumble in the best possible way. They were inspiring because that strength and beauty is wonderful to be around, it was confronting because my conditioning told me, that strength and care are mutually exclusive, that beauty is a nice to have but of little use in the cut and thrust of life.
These women, including my wife, have all been recipients of regular esoteric breast massage. While I have little knowledge of the actual technique, what this therapy awakened in the women in my life and then in me, was nothing short of amazing.
Being around these women, I got to feel that all the leering and sexualising of breasts, was my way of NOT wanting to connect to the true radiance and nurturing that a women can bring. Because if I did, I would have to feel how much I craved that in my life.
Without exception it has been the women who have had regular Esoteric Breast Massage, that are the ones that show me more of that inner beauty.
Without exception these women are showing the world that the beauty and strength they hold is equal to any man’s physical strength. And through seeing it in them, I begin to recognise that men can be beautiful too and that we also carry a beauty and strength that cannot be measured in bicep size.
So the easiest way to push away the feeling of what I missed in my life was to contribute to a society that asks women to be equal by being more like men. I could also keep women feeling self conscious and feeling like their value is in their looks, by sexualising them and not look beyond their breasts as a measure of their worth.
This is an extreme picture I am painting but it is there in daily life but the reality was that the leering and sexualisation was my own resentment at what women, truly claimed, powerful, caring, amazing women might actually show me about life. But I would have never realised this, unless the women in my life, choose to no longer play the games society asked us to play.