On meeting Rowena, my wife to be, an aspect that greatly attracted me to her was her attitude of ‘proving she was as good as a man if not better’. This did not mean she was not feminine but as she herself would say she was proud of being a woman.
It is now nine years since Rowena had her first EBM. Over the years as she has continued with the treatments I have noticed and experienced changes within her. This was particularly noticeable after the first session. After that first session it was like she had taken a protective shield off, I experienced her being more open and less defensive. I noticed in myself that I felt for the first time a sense of ‘safety’ being with her that I had not felt before. It was quite dramatic and I commented upon that to her at the time.
Since that time that sense of safety has grown and deepened. After practically every session it is like another layer of her defenses are removed, allowing more and more of her loveliness and tenderness to shine through. This has brought about a much greater closeness and intimacy between us.
This intimacy extends to all aspects of our life and then out to others. Not only is our love making being more frequent, more relaxed and tender but that expression of love is taken into everything we do. Our touch, our conversation our consideration and respect for the other is there whether it is in the kitchen, the garden or out shopping in a way that it was not before.
One result of this was that we shared ‘secrets’ that we had held about ourselves. These ‘secrets’ were few but they were the things that we had some discomfort or shame about and so were fearful of being judged. The powerful thing about this was not so much being transparent with the other, which is significant, but that we have become so much more transparent, accepting and loving of ourselves. That to me is huge
having had very little true feelings of self-worth. With this deepening appreciation of myself it has helped me greatly to re-connect to the very loving, tender child I was until I felt too unsafe to show it. Subsequently I developed many shields of protection, which in the last few years I have been dis-mantling.
Within Rowena, herself, there have been many changes physiologically and in the unfolding of her femininity and delicateness as a woman. Although this is beautiful and a joy to witness it also triggered tensions at times in our relationship as we evolved individually and together with the changes.
A further huge impact of the treatments has been upon Rowena’s periods and PMT from which is now rarely affected. Rowena used to suffer horrendous pain every month usually resulting in her having to go to bed for most of a day and having to take heavy painkillers. Although I did not suffer the pain, her periods impacted on me and our relationship as it interrupted our rhythm of living and frequently we would have atrocious arguments some days prior to the onset of her period.
Witnessing and being engaged with these changes in Rowena has been like watching a butterfly emerging from the hard shell of its cocoon and in that transformation the observer, me, has also been transformed. It has allowed me to drop so many of my defenses and beliefs about fitting into a role and a picture of what men, and in turn women should be.
Although there have been many other factors that have been at play in the deepening of our relationship the EBM sessions have been without a doubt major influencing factor. I know many other women who have received EBM treatments who have gained similar benefit.
This is written with the permission of Rowena, my dearly beloved wife, partner in life and friend.
As a child I was brought up to treat women in ‘a gentlemanly fashion’, such as opening doors for women, though in retrospect it was also chauvinistic in that women were perceived in someway less than men. Then during my time as a university student in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s I became a strong supporter and advocate of the Women’s Lib Movement. Through this involvement I developed an approach towards women, which in many ways, was a complete antipathy of the ‘gentlemanly fashion’. In the years that followed I became dis-enchanted with the movement though I maintained the belief that women should be treated the same as men in all things.