Lotti - Australia
I had an Esoteric Breast Massage about 4 years ago and at that time, I realise now, that I had no connection to my breasts. Going a step back from there, I have had breast implants some 35 years ago and never felt that my protruding breasts were a part of me.
About 2 years ago one of my breast felt quit sore and so I had a Mammogram and it revealed that there was a rupture in one of the breasts. My surgeon discussed with me about another set of implants, the size, etc. I felt confused, as I did not consider replacing them. The more he glamourised the new type of implants the clearer I got about my decision to remove both implants and return to my “little fried eggs” as they used to be labelled. I feel that through the support of EBM I became aware of the negativity myself and others held towards my breasts, and hence getting the implants, which was kind of a band-aid solution in an attempt to make me feel better about myself.
On the day of my surgery my surgeon asked again if I was clear about my decision – “yes, I could not be any clearer” was my answer! The experience the day after my operation was a feeling of freedom, I felt an openness in my chest and it felt like a tonne of bricks had shifted. I finally felt that these are my breasts and I wanted to start building a relationship with this part of my body that I had neglected ever since I can remember.
A few months ago I felt drawn to having another Esoteric Breast Massage, and so decided to make an appointment. I felt a bit anxious and uncomfortable at the beginning but due to my practitioner's gentleness and professional way of being I eventually relaxed into the session. Through the support of the EBM I could feel the disconnection with my breasts, the trauma of the implants, the rupture and the removal and the long-held negativity around my breasts in general.
By the third session I felt very different, I was able to connect and feel the delicateness and tenderness of my breasts and also felt a deep stillness within my body. I wasn’t aware how tight and tense I had been holding my body until it started to feel open and at ease.
I realise that nurturing myself and finding my confidence and balance in life is an ongoing process and with support from a modality like the EBM this can be an uplifting and deeply healing experience.