Shushila - Australia
I initially went to EBM because I was inquisitive of the whole breast massage business, I really hadn’t a clue as to what to expect when my breasts were going to be massaged with some oil. But deep down inside I knew there was another reason, I had ignored my breasts.
For years I've grown up in an environment where the breasts were the ‘things’ that identified me as a woman and they could be used to manipulate the world or men. They were used and seen as a sex prop, they were just a commodity and they hung right in front of me! I couldn't hide or run away from them, they would follow me no matter where I went.
I can actually recall thinking, “If I exercise then my boobs won't get big!” I associated big boobs with being noticed, big boobs with back or neck pain. Little boobs meant I wouldn't be noticed. So I loved being an A or a B cup and my ex partner even described them as being 'perfect', they fitted in the palm of his hands and I went a long with that!
I used to run marathons and despite my breasts being small, I thought they were a hindrance. As I ran they bounced and during 13 mile runs they would chaff and sting, and I thought what a nuisance they were.
As I matured and became a Midwife the breasts were seen now as a milk machine. Again they were a functional commodity, never more than that.
Within our Indian community breast feeding wasn't seen in public, it was a private matter and the woman would have to feed her baby upstairs so the visitors couldn't see what is so natural and innate within us. Can you imagine asking an animal to go into another room to feed its babies, ludicrous! I remember when a family member came to visit to introduce her new baby, she asked if anyone minded if she breast fed her daughter in the lounge room, another family member said yes, that he did mind if she breast fed. He just hadn’t been exposed to this, and it brought up some of the beliefs and taboos we grew up around and no doubt many other women and men from other cultural backgrounds have experienced something similar.
When I first came across the EBM through Universal Medicine, I felt it was the last thing I was going to try out. But as I started to discover more about me and who I've become, I became inquisitive about the sessions. What was this, massaging of breasts? What is this going to achieve? So I went along.
The massage felt different at the beginning in that I was working at the frontline as a midwife of handling breasts to support women in feeding their babies. But here I was with this gentle woman massaging my breasts and for the first time in my life I realised how much I had ignored my breasts and how cold & sore they were.
I had ignored them for so many years, and felt that they were my burden and yet they were a part of my body that made me a woman, I hadn't recognised that.
Following my sessions I noticed subtle changes within me, I took notice of what I wore. Before, if you had given me a potato sack to cover my breasts that would have sufficed, but now I actually look for the sexy, pretty bras to dress my breasts in. Do I dress for my husband, no, I dress my breasts for me. And when I do, I feel good, I feel me, I feel more of a woman then I've ever been.